Sunday, August 10, 2014

10 Reasons Why I’d Rather Hang Out With Fictional Characters

I’m good at socializing when I have to, but I just don’t like it. People are mostly annoying, exhausting and either way too simple or way too hard to crack. Therefore, except for my close group of friends, most of whom I’ve known for more than ten years, I’d rather hang out with fictional characters in books instead of real people.

Here are 10 reasons why:

1. Books are easy to acquire.
Books aren’t reluctant about introducing themselves to you (as in you read the back cover for the introduction). You can examine them as you wish—harass the cover, turn the pages, have a look at the characters, even read a few pages to get an idea of whether or not the characters are a fit for you. Then you just walk to the cashier, pay and ta da! You have people to hang out with right away. Or, if you’re lazy, you can just order a book online and they’ll show up at your doorstep. 

2. Fictional characters never leave you.
Leave your book at home when you go out, and the characters will be waiting for you when you get back. They won’t ask you where you’ve been, won’t complain about you for being away too long… And, most of the time, you don’t even need to leave them at all; just stick your book in your purse, and you can hang out with the characters whenever you like, wherever you like. Carrying my current read with me always makes me feel great, especially on work days because I know that once the clock hits 6 pm, I can just get on the bus and tune out the real world.

3. YOU decide when YOU want to hang out with them.
No “you were going to call me, why haven’t you?” No “aren’t you coming to bed?” No “Why won’t you take me to the movies?” YOU and you only decide when you want to read and hang out with fictional characters. And, they don’t give you an attitude or complain when you want to put them down and go do something else.

4. If you get bored, you can dump them and not have to feel bad about it.
I have to admit that fictional characters can disappoint you just like real people do. They die, they make bad choices, they end up with the wrong guys or at the wrong place at the wrong time… But you don’t have to deal with all that if you don’t want to; they won’t get mad or cry or declare war when you get rid of them. You can move on with relief knowing you are not leaving a weeping being behind.

5. They always smell good.
Now that summer is really here, I don’t at all like the smells coming out of fellow humans. Fictional characters never need to wash their hands, brush their teeth or even shower, but they always smell so good. Characters in aged books smell even better; just crack a page and suck it in!

6. They take you to places. 
Fictional characters always take you to places and hardly the same place twice. Some might take you to a country, city or town you’ve been to before, but your experiences won’t be the same since you’ll be in different houses, schools, work places and meeting interesting side characters. And the best part is that even if you meet those people for the first time, you’ll feel at home and like you’ve known them all your life.

7. You can have multiple book boyfriends.
Mr. Darcy, Edward Cullen, Christian Grey, Santiago Nasar, Alex Cross… You name it; he’s yours. No hard feelings. No jealousy. No fights. No breakups. No separating your record collections.

8. They don’t get uncomfortable when you cry.
Most men I know get very uncomfortable when women cry in front of them. Not fictional characters, though. You can cry as much as you want while reading and they won’t say a word.

9. The books they’re part of fuel your creativity.
Do I even have to explain this one? Different places, different people, different set of events, different professions, words and sentences and paragraphs and even designs… While you’re reading, you can get all sorts of ideas, learn all sorts of things, question life and death and everything in between, get a chance to experience feelings you might think you could never feel.

10. They never talk back at you.
Even when you yell, “damn you for making me cry all the way through,” fictional characters will not say anything. They’re okay with any and all your reactions. What more can a girl want?

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